As I reflect on this special event, I am reminded that with the Lord all things are totally possible. My story is a first-time home birth VBAC. When I had my first child I was quite typical. Everything I knew about birth I had learned from television. I just assumed you had a vaginal birth, and if something went wrong, a C-section was the next best option. I was determined to have a vaginal birth because I convinced that that's just how our bodies were equipped. But, my first birth ended in a C-section and it was a bad hospital experience. Looking back now, I am grateful I had a difficult time, because now I can proudly say I understand both sides of giving birth.
I became pregnant again about a year and a half later. It was at that time that I was introduced to the movie "The Business of Being Born". That movie set a fire in me and fully convinced me that my body KNEW how to give birth. At the time, my family lived in a rather rural area in the eastern part of Oklahoma. The closest GOOD hospital was more than an hour away, and I had absolutely no experience in choosing a midwife, so I googled "midwifes in my area". Pamela Brott was the closest one to me. My husband and I drove 2 hours to meet with her. We were very skeptical at first, but her experience, knowledge, honesty, faith in the Lord and assurance that God created our bodies to give birth is what sold us. Further along in my pregnancy her willingness to allow me to make decisions concerning my pregnancy and birth set a standard for my future births.
I was roughly a week and a half away from my projected "due date" when the contractions began. It was a Sunday evening when my hips and back began to ache. All I knew was I was feeling pretty uncomfortable so I had my husband push my hips together. That night I was feeling a dull pain, which made me excited to think maybe it was time! I texted Pamela late that night and she called me to listen as I went through a couple of contractions. She could tell I wasn't quite there, so she told me to make sure I tried to get some rest. I definitely couldn't sleep very well because I was so excited! Monday morning, I woke up feeling pretty tired and was having pretty consistent contractions. I was supposed to go to a baby shower that day, and needed to keep my mind off of the pain so I drove 30 minutes to the baby shower. While showering I had to stop and think through my contractions, but I made it!
That evening I prepared all we needed for the birth and tried to rest. At about 11pm I couldn't stand the pain so I texted Pamela and described how I was feeling. She called and listened to me again and realized I was not only in active labor, but I was probably VERY close to giving birth! I woke my husband up and he began to prepare the pool (I highly recommend a birth pool). Pamela wasn't even sure she would make it to the birth because I had waited so long to call. During her travels Pam called a couple of times to check and see how I was doing. My husband innocently kept updating her on his progress with filling the birth pool, meanwhile, I was laying on the floor in PAIN! (We laugh about that now.) Pam and her assistant arrived around 4am. They helped finish with filling the pool and I got in...INSTANT RELIEF! The pool felt wonderful. I really didn't want anyone to touch me. I just laid back in the pool and soon I was pushing. I remember saying things like, "I can't do this!" Pam responded, "You are doing it!" And when I felt the head and Pam said she could see it I yelled, "Pull it out!" Pam assured me that everything was fine and that he would rotate so that his shoulders could come. In no time at all he was out. We pulled him up out of the water and he was in my arms! I exclaimed, "I DID IT!!!" Then I turned to Pam and said, "What do I do now?" To which she simply said, "Just hold him." I held him, explored him, kissed him and just loved on him for over 30 minutes...then my husband cut his cord and the rest is history!
Giving birth at home for the first time is one of my greatest accomplishments. I was called names and told I was making a terrible decision, but the Lord used Pam to speak truth to me. She was helpful to us in so many ways. I am so grateful that I was able to overcome and to take that leap of faith. Having a home birth is such an amazing and beautiful experience. It has given me a love and appreciation and even a craving for birth.
I absolutely LOVE Pam! She has helped me in some capacity with my last 3 pregnancies. She is sweet, funny, supportive, and has become a friend to me. I have come to rely on her years of experience, as I count her advice as invaluable.
In 2013, I was pregnant with my 3rd baby. I was seeing a midwife close to me, but I had a first trimester issue that was beyond this midwife's knowledge and I was sent to a doctor. Unfortunately, I was told that I was high-risk and would have to give birth in the hospital. I reluctantly agreed, but my anxiety was increasing. I had had two previous hospital births, and they were quite traumatic to me. The thought of going back to the hospital gave me quite a panic attack, something I'm not prone to normally. I wasn't convinced that it was necessary to be in the hospital, and I wasn't convinced I was high-risk, given my previous medical history. My midwife said she couldn't see me if I was high-risk, so I ended up calling Pam, who practices in Oklahoma (I'm in Texas). She sat in my living room and spoke to me for over an hour about my fears, my birth plan, my desires, and my concerns about giving birth in the hospital. She helped me to realize that my thoughts and beliefs about birth were valid. My instincts were important, and I didn't have to ignore them. Together, we came up with a plan after exploring several options.
In the end, because of the distance, I did not use Pam for my birth. But I did take the advice she gave me and put it to good use, getting a second opinion from a more holistic OB/GYN who said I was absolutely NOT high risk, and released me to go back to the original midwife, who could now legally see me as a patient now that I was not considered high-risk. I beat the midwife to the birth center, 20 minutes away from me, and had my baby on the front porch unassisted, which was actually beautiful and confirmed my beliefs that my body was absolutely made for this, and all I needed were my maternal instincts. Pam is more than twice as far from me, so I'm certain I would not have made it to her birth center! At the time, my husband was very uncomfortable with a home birth, which is why Pam coming to me was not an option at the time. However, after having a baby on a front porch unassisted, and after catching his own baby, my husband changed his mind and gave me his blessing to have a home birth the next time. Although I did not use Pam as my midwife, she was instrumental in helping me to find my voice and advocate for myself and my baby.
The next time was two years later in 2015. I hired a midwife that was fairly close to me and attended home births. It was an awesome experience! However, after a couple days of painful nursing, we realized our baby had a severe lip and tongue tie. The dentist insisted that we see a lactation consultant after the revision, and my midwife suggested I go see Pam. I remembered her from two years earlier, and was delighted to go see her again. She was instrumental in helping my baby and me to develop a good and healthy breastfeeding relationship. I absolutely believe I couldn't have done it without her help. She was so patient with me. She encouraged me, supported me, cheered me on, and told me I could do it! It was hard...but she helped me see it through all the way to completion.
Two years later, in 2017, I was pregnant with my fifth baby. We used the same home birth midwife, but this time Pam was more involved during the third trimester. They often go to births together and assist one another, and I was so happy that Pam was a part of this pregnancy. I was blessed to have them both there to support me near the end. At one point we had a question about undiagnosed twins, so Pam was called in for a second opinion (it wasn't twins). Then, I had two false alarms during the last few weeks of pregnancy, and with a history of 90-minute labors, I let my midwife know immediately to try to ensure she wouldn't miss the birth. So both my midwife and Pam came out two different nights in the same week, and sat with me all night thinking this was the odd pregnancy where I was going to go into labor early, instead of waiting until 41 or 42 weeks. But I did not, in fact, give birth early. The contractions faded and the baby waited until 42 weeks to appear... as usual. The night of the birth my midwife arrived just 12 minutes prior to the birth and had Pam not been caught in traffic she would have arrived around that same time, but as it turns out she arrived just 9 minutes after the delivery.
Once again, I had a baby with a tongue and lip tie, and I needed Pam's help as a lactation consultant to get us off to a good start. This one was much harder than the last one though, and the pain I was experiencing was causing me to be very hesitant to attempt the latch-on. Just as before, she was patient with me, encouraging me the whole way. Again, I feel like I couldn't have achieved a healthy breastfeeding relationship without her.
I hope and pray that if, God-willing, we have another baby Pam will also be as involved as she has been with my last three. She is a lovely woman whom I consider a dear friend, and I would recommend her in a heartbeat to anyone in need of a midwife or lactation consultant.
My story goes back to my first. It was before I found Pam. Some things happened and I ended up with a C-section. Fast forward three years when I was referred to Pam and pestered her with many questions. During my pregnancy, labor and birth she helped me believe in myself. She helped me believe that what I was doing was possible. I was empowered. And about a year later I called her again... we were expecting. Due to my previous experience I was much more relaxed and confident during this pregnancy. I knew I could do it! As my due date approached Pam encouraged me to stay active but well rested. At 5:00 AM when I woke up in labor I was calm and ready. After a bit of laboring we called Pam and she came right over. As I labored I was able to stay calm because of some discoveries and techniques that I learned about. Pam and my husband did an amazing job of distracting me between contractions. They walked with me and were extremely encouraging. At one point in labor we decided to check my cervix and as Pam did the check my water broke. Things really started moving after that. We ended up trying some different positions in an effort to correct some heart tone issues that the baby was having. Although it was not real comfortable for me, we found a position that the baby tolerated better. Pam stayed calm and collected and told me that she understood that it was not comfortable but that it was her job to make sure baby arrived safe and healthy and that if I wanted that we were going to have to work together. She reminded me of how amazing our bodies are and that I could do it. Guess what?! I did it! Pam had to help with my baby's positioning to get her to come out a little bit quicker than she was coming, but both my baby girl and I are healthy and doing very well. Pam has gained even more respect from my husband and me. We think Pam helped empower us to make decisions...good, informed decisions. We thank God for bringing Pam into our lives not just as our midwife, but as our friend.
Our Prenatal Care
We knew we wanted a homebirth with our children and with our
first child found one close to home. We
thought we were a good fit but really didn't know what to look for or what to
ask except basic questions. And we found
that with our first midwife was not the best fit for us, though, it was a great
and healthy birth experience. When we
got pregnant with our second child we knew we still wanted a Midwife and
homebirth experience but because of our first experience and other
circumstances we
didn't start looking as soon as we did with our first. We were thrilled when a friend of ours told
us about Pamela.
I scoped Pam out by going to a prenatal visit with my friend
to see how her bedside manner was. As I
saw Pam chat and interact during the visit I was really impressed with her
cheerfulness, respect, openness, and love.
This first encounter led to me "spilling the beans" and letting Pam know that I had a "little bean" growing in me and that we
were looking for a Midwife. She took the
time right then and there to answer questions I had for her even though my
friend was the last prenatal of the day and it was evening. Again, I could feel the care and never felt
rushed!
My husband and I then came for a visit to ask more detailed
questions concerning the care she gives and her philosophies on
childbirth. We found a PERFECT
MATCH! One thing about my husband and I,
we like to ask questions, do our own research, and make our own decisions about
our birth experience. With our first
midwife these things seemed to be a threat to her, as though we did not trust
her, but not with Pam. I remember
telling Pam this and she said, "Well, isn't that what most families who
want a homebirth want...to be able to have some control over their care, their
body, and their birth experience?!"
It was relieving to see we really were on the same page in so many
areas.
Something that really impressed us was her wide range of
birth experience. She has delivered
twins, delivered her own breech baby, among having homebirths herself, and even
delivered a baby in a small RV. She has experienced moms needing to go to the
hospital and supporting them there as well!
The experience she had helped us make our decision.
A few unique things about our family are that we live, full
time, in an RV and travel the country.
My husband does Bible Seminars.
So our prenatals would be more spread out then typical to work around
when we would pass through town. And
also we are completely plant-based. We
don't eat dairy or any animal products.
With both these concerns Pam was super accommodating. She worked with our schedule, and with our
diet she never passed judgment! She was supportive and yet gave enough input and
recommendations to know she cared that I was getting the nutrients necessary...just
like she does with every other mama!
She
was always open to our questions and concerns and even when we wondered what
she was doing or writing or what something meant, she freely shared with
us. Her openness and patience was such a
joy!
All of her prenatal recommendations were always given in a
loving and tender way. She always shared
her views and what she has researched but also shared other views and options
for all aspects of care. This truly
helped us to make informed decisions for our family and we never felt forced. The balance of giving freedom to choose our
care coupled with the information, knowledge, skills, recommendations, and
experience Pam has made the whole homebirth experience wonderful!
Our Birth
I found that I like to labor on my own without much
coaching, talking, or assistance. Pam
was great about giving me my space.
Because of my own miscalculating my high pain tolerance and the
quickness of the second baby, I waited too long to give Pam the ok to come on
over to our house/RV. When I was ready
for Pam to come (she lived an hour away) my husband called her at around
midnight telling her my contraction times.
They were somewhat irregular in length but consistent. I found out later that Pam heard the times
and jumped quickly off the couch and started throwing things in her bag and
putting her shoes on. She told me later,
"I was running around the house like a wild woman!" She could tell by my contraction times that I
was very close to delivery and yet she was still far away from us.
She talked to me though the phone and was able to have me
get in a position to help the pushing urge not overwhelm me as she drove to
us. Once she was there she was very
sensitive to my needs, including my need to push, but also checked the baby's
vitals in between contractions. She
always asked permission to touch me, which I appreciated. Without going into too many details the birth
went great! Our healthy baby boy
arrived! Pam gave us time to ourselves
with the baby but also did what she needed for our health and wellbeing (and
cleaning) after the birth. It was a
perfect blend of her being present and available as well as invisible as we
basked in the joy of our new baby!
We are not sure if we will have any more children. We have our girl and our boy. But if we do, we will make every effort to be
near Pam for our birth! I am almost sad
at the thought of not having more children, partly because that means I won't
get to talk to Pam or interact with her as our Midwife. I love her sooo much and appreciate her love
for us, our baby, and for God! She is an
excellent Midwife and I recommend her to anyone wanting a safe and enjoyable
homebirth experience!
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