Marian
April 2022
My only regret is that we didn’t choose midwifery sooner.
We couldn’t have asked for a better home birth or midwifery experience. It was so much more than anything I could have imagined. This was our fourth child’s birth, so there were many aspects that we, as seasoned parents, expected and knew. What we didn’t know was how much more time, connection, education, and trust we’d have with a home birth. Midwives and OB/GYNs don’t belong in the same conversation because they have approaches that are completely different. It wasn’t about earning respect or “staying in my doctor’s good graces” or feeling intimated or less than or rushed. Instead, there was mutual respect, flexibility, feeling important and heard, and working together as a team. My husband and I have been raving about it and have told everyone that they should go with a midwife and see home birth as your first option.
Pamela has been excellent from the start. Our appointments were about learning from each other and how to have a healthy pregnancy. She laid out my options with full explanations and respected whatever decisions I decided without hesitation. I wasn’t waiting for hours in the lobby for only 15 minutes of her time either. When I found out my baby was breech, Pamela gave me tools and resources, not panic or doubt, to help my baby turn on their own. When we thought my amniotic fluid needed to be checked, she gave me tools and resources, not panic or doubt, to ensure it was okay. Our appointments flowed beautifully to when it came to our birth. Pamela’s birth preparation lists were thorough and well-thought out.
We communicated throughout the day about contractions and how I was feeling through them. When requested to come, Pamela was quickly on her way because I was her only patient that day. It wasn’t when she got a break or could get away from the office. She arrived shortly after our conversation and was able to set up without issue when my contractions were still manageable.
An hour or so later, I asked how I could help move labor along. Pamela suggested a walk outdoors and getting fresh air, to which my contractions intensified and got closer together almost instantly. We thankfully made it back inside, and my water broke. I was immediately able to do what I felt in the moment was right, which was get in the shower. With the warm water soothingly hitting my back, I got on all fours and stayed in that position for only 30 minutes before my son arrived. So out of 7-1/2 hours of labor, only 45 minutes were truly tough.
With my hospital births, I felt like I had to be coached when it got challenging. I felt squirmy and self-conscious and scared and crowded. With Pamela and her assistant, Amber (also excellent!), it wasn’t about their agenda or what was easier for them or checking dilation and effacement. It wasn’t about letting numbers and monitors distract me or adjusting to their pace or their need to interfere. They gave my baby and me the space and time to let labor unfold naturally.
Yes, it was challenging. Yes, it was painful. Yes, it was so vulnerable and intimate and exposing. But I’d never trusted my body more than in those moments when it was being tested the most. When given the space and time to “just be me,” my body knew what to do and how to respond. My husband said it was the most peaceful I’ve ever been during birth and delivery, especially pushing, which lasted only seven (!!) minutes. I’m so thankful for the trust I had in my birth team, for their trust in me, and for my trust in my body. It was life changing.
After our son was born, instead of leaving us, Pam selflessly got in the shower with me and let me lean back on her until I was ready to move to bed. Her and Amber graciously and quickly got things in order so that my husband, baby, and I could bond in bed. Pamela and Amber took their time, not in a rush, to answer more questions, tell us more about their perspective during the birth, and took vitals and measurements. When we felt we were good to go, they trusted us to care for our baby without constant monitoring, and her and Amber headed home. What’s more is both my baby and I will continue to see Pamela throughout the next six weeks, not after six weeks. The care extends beyond anything an OB/GYN will ever offer.
I’m sure I’m missing some things, but if you’ve ever had any hesitation about a home birth, please learn from me as someone who’s had both hospital and home births, the latter being far superior to the former. Give yourself the chance to experience the beauty of birth the way it should be…beginning at home.
